I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
