I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
