she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
