me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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