How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
