Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
