Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
