I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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