I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
