Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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