I wish I only lived at night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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