Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
