ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
