I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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