I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
