I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
