Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
