awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
