she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
