You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
