Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Are my feet made of real feet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
