No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
