I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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