Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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