Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
