HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
