Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
