But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
