sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
