She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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