Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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