Can Purell be used as lube?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
