do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There r osticjed everywhere
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
