Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
