who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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