Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
