My hand turned me down
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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