You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
