Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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