So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize