God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
