I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
