last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
