is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
