His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
