Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
