Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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