i wish my penis had a tongue
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I had to cum in my sink.
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