i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
