They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
