doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize