What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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