this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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