We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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