Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
