Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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