I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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