I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize