Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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