"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
