I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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